Your feelings of...physical desire are probably because of your longing for someone you cannot meet in thes world. For most people, love and lust are closely linked, and your loneliness strengthens the feeling in that absence.
It is a difficult kind of loneliness, bittersweet and painful. But it is not madness, nor something to be ashamed of. There's...a chance that relieving the physical pressure will make it increase, for a time, since you're unused to any of this. But there's an equal chance it will be better for your focus and mental state, to let off some of that pressure. I can't pretend to know which it will be for you, and it's your decision to make.
I simply ask that you don't make the decision out of fear of an unknown horizon. That denial of self...is an even worse sort of loneliness.
they're doing their best
Your feelings of...physical desire are probably because of your longing for someone you cannot meet in thes world. For most people, love and lust are closely linked, and your loneliness strengthens the feeling in that absence.
It is a difficult kind of loneliness, bittersweet and painful. But it is not madness, nor something to be ashamed of. There's...a chance that relieving the physical pressure will make it increase, for a time, since you're unused to any of this. But there's an equal chance it will be better for your focus and mental state, to let off some of that pressure. I can't pretend to know which it will be for you, and it's your decision to make.
I simply ask that you don't make the decision out of fear of an unknown horizon. That denial of self...is an even worse sort of loneliness.