[It is a fact that they never talk about it after, and it continues to hold true even now, when Alhaitham inevitably gets asked about his experience with the potion when he returns after all is said and done in order to claim his so-called 'payment'.
I do not remember much, is what he tells the somewhat shady healer when asked to recount his experiences, voice flat and his expression revealing nothing. Most of it was a blur.
The healer gives him a look and a toothy grin that only serves to irritate Alhaitham more, but all the same he still accepts the items that they pass onto him as his payment for having tested the brew. There is a bottle of the brew itself, which Alhaitham is incredibly tempted to just throw away but stops himself from doing so if only because it would be easier to show the proof of his mistake to Kaveh. And then, of course, there is the book, which'd been the main reason why Alhaitham even willingly subjected himself to this in the first place.
...to say how disappointing the book turns out to be even from a quick skim would be an entire seminar in and of itself. Just like with the brew Alhaitham is also just as tempted to get rid of the book now that he has seen how ridiculous its contents are, but—
The door to Kaveh's apartment clicks open, and Alhaitham steps through as soon as he can, closing said door with maybe a little bit more force than usual because there are no words he can use in this moment to describe the immeasurable disappointment and annoyance that he is feeling right now.]
[For once, Kaveh has been heeding the suggestion to rest, though he's not particularly amenable to discussing why. So he's on the couch, sprawled out, legs dangling over the arm as Mehrak holds some listings up for him to read, when Alhaitham comes home and--
hmm.]
I take it things went swimmingly.
action; ftb any% glitchless (or with glitch in this case...)
[Alhaitham simply grunts as he removes his footwear and places them aside (properly, this time), heading over to the couch after that to unceremoniously toss the book down onto his chest.]
Read it for yourself.
[If his gaze lingers on the array of marks that litter Kaveh's neck for a beat too long Alhaitham certainly does nothing to show it, simply turning away after that to walk over to the lone cabinet that exists in this tiny place and opening it up to stash away the bottled brew. He can talk to Kaveh about that later, when he feels less inclined to open it up an pour its contents down the sink.]
action; there's certainly a few glitches in their plans...
[Kaveh looks up at Alhaitham rather placidly for once. It's a little strange for their positions to be reversed like this, and he's kind of enjoying the absurdity of the situation.]
I'm going to go ahead and guess you won't be looking for the first book, then.
[Enjoy it Kaveh, because it will very much not be happening a second time.]
Why, are you interested in experiencing having intercourse with a dragon?
[He asks this with so much sarcasm that the words are practically dripping with it, gaze shifting over from the book to stare flatly at Kaveh while he asks that question.]
[There is maybe a brief Look at that particular response, but Alhaitham also does not bring up that fact. It's certainly not like Kaveh to make any mention of their trysts after the act, but well—
—this particular has been not quite a norm, in a whole slew of ways. So more than anything it is likely due to that.]
I thought about discarding it, but I figured you'd want to see proof of what is now an evident mistake on my part. [...on deciding to try the brew for the book, that is. He certainly doesn't quite regret the actual deed itself, regardless of the circumstances.] It won't be happening again.
[There's a flicker of something in Kaveh's expression, but he catches it quickly, to look back at the listings Mehrak is holding up for him. Well, of course. What did he expect? He can't be honest about what he wants, and Alhaitham never makes that move.
No use crying about it, at least not where he can be seen.] I guess it is a bit of a stretch for you to expand your taste in reading materials in this direction.
action; plays the ukelele and sings 🎶 MISCOMMUNICATION 🎵
[There is a drop of something in Kaveh's response there which has Alhaitham pausing, though try as he might he can't figure out exactly what it is that has Kaveh being like this now. Even now his senior continues to be needly complicated and endlessly frustrating.
He huffs then, and goes to dump the book onto the coffee table to deal with later—be it to throw it away or do something else with it.] You know that I am not inherently against fiction. It is simply ones such as these that are utterly nonsensical to me.
[What does a story about human and dragon intercourse achieve anyway? In the first place, such things are wholly impossible—at least in Teyvat.]
This may come as a shock to you, given how much you know about art, but most people commissioning architectural designs do not want large scaly pectorals on their windows.
[Kaveh's tone is dry enough to rival the deserts sands, and he sets a couple of the listings aside, ruled out for some reason or another.]
[Kaveh's dry tone is only matched by Alhaitham's own. And also now that his earpieces are off the next thing to go is his cape, and then his belt pouch, speaking up as he does so.]
But I do sincerely hope that on the off chance it does happen you will at least have the sense to make sure it is worth the hit to your reputation.
Considering my reputation would be shot and I'd never get another job, wouldn't be worth it. Aren't you always telling me to think about the long term?
[Kaveh snorts. Hmm...these last three listings all look promising....] And I do not want to be the Pervert of the Kshahrewar.
[Kaveh flails about in his arms as always, to which Alhaitham pointedly ignores as he walks them both in the direction of the bedroom, eyes flicking over the current listings that Kaveh's toolbox is holding up as he moves.]
'Lots of greenery, close enough to the sea, stone's throw from amenities...' [He reads out the listing at the top of the list, then snorts faintly at the price listed after everything else.] Did somebody actually request your services? You must have done a good job on selling it to them.
[Since Kaveh's skills as an architect isn't really needed here, as they've discussed before, so Alhaitham assumes that Kaveh must have been able to persuade some sort of local to allow him to do this.]
[And this is point where Alhaitham pauses, standing right at the threshold between the bedroom and the rest of this tiny apartment that they have been living in together since Alhaitham arrived here. If he turns back now Alhaitham knows he will be able to see the evident signs of their cohabitation, from the ever growing collection of books that they are really running of space to keep to the few other items that has some into this place, somehow.
It truly hadn't occurred to him until this very moment of the idea of moving to live somewhere else, to maybe—sort of settle in here? The idea in and of itself just feels so alien, because none of the futures he'd imagined would have ever involved something like this. And yet...
The thought of being here, just with Kaveh, doesn't sound too inherently bad. But he'd probably have to think more about it beyond a momentary impulse.]
You had better prepare a lot of shelves, then. [He says as he starts to move once more, stepping properly into the bedroom now.] At least the same amount as what we have back in Sumeru.
[Considering the equally small size of the bedroom it only takes Alhaitham a few steps to get there, and so once he gets to the side of the bed he unceremoniously deposits Kaveh straight onto it, joining him right after that, limbs coming to wrap around Kaveh in the same way as he's always done since they started sharing this too-small bed.]
What, do you take me for some sort of idiot? Of course I'll make shelves. [If he voiced it out loud Kaveh would have agreed--settling in for the long term feels...strange. But Alhaitham is here, and the itch to be...comfortable sits within Kaveh, and so he started looking.
It is just a house. Home has nothing to do with the building they're in.
He yelps a bit, when he's dropped, but once Alhaitham settles in he snorts. He doesn't understand why Alhaitham does this, but he knows what he's doing now, at least--]
[There may or may not be a brief squeeze from his arms that are wrapped around Kaveh but its only because he's pulling the other closer to him so that they don't fall off, okay. This bed is really small for the both of them to share it.]
You should also rest. [They've both had quite a day, after all.] Mehrak, standby mode.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action; the real speedrun there tbh
I do not remember much, is what he tells the somewhat shady healer when asked to recount his experiences, voice flat and his expression revealing nothing. Most of it was a blur.
The healer gives him a look and a toothy grin that only serves to irritate Alhaitham more, but all the same he still accepts the items that they pass onto him as his payment for having tested the brew. There is a bottle of the brew itself, which Alhaitham is incredibly tempted to just throw away but stops himself from doing so if only because it would be easier to show the proof of his mistake to Kaveh. And then, of course, there is the book, which'd been the main reason why Alhaitham even willingly subjected himself to this in the first place.
...to say how disappointing the book turns out to be even from a quick skim would be an entire seminar in and of itself. Just like with the brew Alhaitham is also just as tempted to get rid of the book now that he has seen how ridiculous its contents are, but—
The door to Kaveh's apartment clicks open, and Alhaitham steps through as soon as he can, closing said door with maybe a little bit more force than usual because there are no words he can use in this moment to describe the immeasurable disappointment and annoyance that he is feeling right now.]
action; awesome ftb done quick
hmm.]
I take it things went swimmingly.
action; ftb any% glitchless (or with glitch in this case...)
Read it for yourself.
[If his gaze lingers on the array of marks that litter Kaveh's neck for a beat too long Alhaitham certainly does nothing to show it, simply turning away after that to walk over to the lone cabinet that exists in this tiny place and opening it up to stash away the bottled brew. He can talk to Kaveh about that later, when he feels less inclined to open it up an pour its contents down the sink.]
action; there's certainly a few glitches in their plans...
...It's volume 2, apparently.
[Just gonna put some salt in that wound.]
action; only makes it better
[Yeah, here's that dry voice you know and appreciate so well, Kaveh. Truly the most impressed that Alhaitham has ever been of all time. Not.
The brew stashed away, Alhaitham walks (stomps) back to the couch and snatches it back off Kaveh's hands, his expression exceptionally sour.]
action; they don't know what's gonna happen...
I'm going to go ahead and guess you won't be looking for the first book, then.
action; they will know... eventually...
Why, are you interested in experiencing having intercourse with a dragon?
[He asks this with so much sarcasm that the words are practically dripping with it, gaze shifting over from the book to stare flatly at Kaveh while he asks that question.]
action; it will be nice for them when they do...
[Kaveh snorts, and shrugs a bit, glossing over he actually brought up the hickies for once.] I'm surprised you even kept it to bring home.
action; yes... they will get there...
—this particular has been not quite a norm, in a whole slew of ways. So more than anything it is likely due to that.]
I thought about discarding it, but I figured you'd want to see proof of what is now an evident mistake on my part. [...on deciding to try the brew for the book, that is. He certainly doesn't quite regret the actual deed itself, regardless of the circumstances.] It won't be happening again.
action; this one hurt me to write
[There's a flicker of something in Kaveh's expression, but he catches it quickly, to look back at the listings Mehrak is holding up for him. Well, of course. What did he expect? He can't be honest about what he wants, and Alhaitham never makes that move.
No use crying about it, at least not where he can be seen.] I guess it is a bit of a stretch for you to expand your taste in reading materials in this direction.
action; plays the ukelele and sings 🎶 MISCOMMUNICATION 🎵
He huffs then, and goes to dump the book onto the coffee table to deal with later—be it to throw it away or do something else with it.] You know that I am not inherently against fiction. It is simply ones such as these that are utterly nonsensical to me.
[What does a story about human and dragon intercourse achieve anyway? In the first place, such things are wholly impossible—at least in Teyvat.]
action; they're so...fucking stupid
[he even managed to mostly not sound bitter about that. You're nailing this, kaveh.]
Though I admit mostly the value in these is seeing how many strange words they can come up with for genitalia.
[Listen, romance novels are some of the funniest shit to read on teyvat.]
action; the brightest minds of sumeru ladies and gentlemen
[Don't mind Alhaitham as he moves to take off his earpieces now, depositing them onto the coffee table as well.]
action;
[Kaveh's tone is dry enough to rival the deserts sands, and he sets a couple of the listings aside, ruled out for some reason or another.]
action;
[Kaveh's dry tone is only matched by Alhaitham's own. And also now that his earpieces are off the next thing to go is his cape, and then his belt pouch, speaking up as he does so.]
But I do sincerely hope that on the off chance it does happen you will at least have the sense to make sure it is worth the hit to your reputation.
action;
[HUFFING LOUDLY like he's not watching Alhaitham from the corner of his eye. He isn't. Hush. Shut up.]
action;
[Alhaitham works on removing his gloves next, and he continues doing so as he waits for Kaveh's answer to this particular question.]
action;
[Kaveh snorts. Hmm...these last three listings all look promising....] And I do not want to be the Pervert of the Kshahrewar.
action;
Oh? Did you not want a third moniker after 'Light' and 'Urchin' to complete the trifecta?
[Both gloves are off now and also tossed onto the coffee table, and now that he is fully dressed down Alhaitham walks over to the couch and—
—scoops Kaveh right up into his arms without any warning whatsoever.]
action;
[He yelps. Mehrak beeps and follows after them, still holding the listings, so one supposes Alhaitham can read those too, now.]
What are you doing?!
[His heart is pounding. He can't mean to---? No, he said it was a mistake, so he can't be...]
action;
'Lots of greenery, close enough to the sea, stone's throw from amenities...' [He reads out the listing at the top of the list, then snorts faintly at the price listed after everything else.] Did somebody actually request your services? You must have done a good job on selling it to them.
[Since Kaveh's skills as an architect isn't really needed here, as they've discussed before, so Alhaitham assumes that Kaveh must have been able to persuade some sort of local to allow him to do this.]
action;
[He is squirming a bit, but he doesn't want to be dropped, so he's reached out and plucked one up to wave it at Alhaitham.]
If you're going to keep collecting more books, we should at least live somewhere with enough space to store them?
action;
It truly hadn't occurred to him until this very moment of the idea of moving to live somewhere else, to maybe—sort of settle in here? The idea in and of itself just feels so alien, because none of the futures he'd imagined would have ever involved something like this. And yet...
The thought of being here, just with Kaveh, doesn't sound too inherently bad. But he'd probably have to think more about it beyond a momentary impulse.]
You had better prepare a lot of shelves, then. [He says as he starts to move once more, stepping properly into the bedroom now.] At least the same amount as what we have back in Sumeru.
[Considering the equally small size of the bedroom it only takes Alhaitham a few steps to get there, and so once he gets to the side of the bed he unceremoniously deposits Kaveh straight onto it, joining him right after that, limbs coming to wrap around Kaveh in the same way as he's always done since they started sharing this too-small bed.]
action;
It is just a house. Home has nothing to do with the building they're in.
He yelps a bit, when he's dropped, but once Alhaitham settles in he snorts. He doesn't understand why Alhaitham does this, but he knows what he's doing now, at least--]
A nap? Already?
action;
[There may or may not be a brief squeeze from his arms that are wrapped around Kaveh but its only because he's pulling the other closer to him so that they don't fall off, okay. This bed is really small for the both of them to share it.]
You should also rest. [They've both had quite a day, after all.]
Mehrak, standby mode.
action;
action;
action; 🎀