Well... If you're sure, then I'm glad it wasn't me who instigated your emotions.
[Lyney hesitates on his reply, processing those few words. He ponders on if he should ask, but decides to bite the bullet.]
Mr. Kaveh, if you'd forgive me for being so bold... are things alright with you and Mr. Alhaitham? I can see how close you two are, but I can't help but notice a tension there. Normally I wouldn't be one to pry, but... well, I can't help but be concerned when a friend is troubled by something.
[Even if his own definitions of "friend" can be skewed due to his affiliations, he does mean what he says.]
[Lyney says it lightly, but it's a weighty little detail, something that Alhaitham has no doubt already picked up on. Lyney's instincts were as sharp as a cat's, honed by years of survival need and House of the Hearth training. Of course he'd notice something as simple as a strained relationship.]
[Still, hearing those words does make Lyney pause, blinking a few times on his end.]
Did something happen to change all that?
[He's probably pointing out the obvious, but he'd rather hear how Kaveh explains it than make assumptions.]
[Oh, this is actually... this actually makes a lot of pieces fall into place. Lyney falls silent for a moment, and when he speaks again, all the theatrics are gone and his voice is filled with concern.]
I'm... so sorry to hear that. It must have been a truly big fight to have affected you both so badly.
[A part of him actually feels bad for his prior open flirting now.]
And you haven't been able to come to an understanding after that?
Mmn...it's not that. In some ways, it might be easier, if we truly hated each other. Certainly, I resented him, but that's not the same...
Before that fight, I would have said I knew him better than I knew myself. Our views are opposites, but once, that created a harmony, instead of endless discord. We were...arrogant, I suppose. Young, and proud. We never spoke our feelings aloud because we always assumed the other would understand.
[He trails off into a sad little laugh.] Now, we're living with ghosts. We're not the same people we were, but...the boy I knew is still there. I just don't know how to read the man he became. I always thought he must have resented me as much as I did him, or maybe just moved on entirely, but...
[Kaveh is quiet a long while.] I don't know. I can't make much sense of all that's happened since that day.
[Hearing the loaded backstory like this, many things begin to fall into place; the obvious pining, the connection between the two, and why, despite being painfully obviously attracted to one another, neither man seemed willing to even entertain the thought of being a couple. This gaping rift was a wound long inflicted, and it looked like the two were still trying to navigate it.]
Have you tried apologizing to each other? Or even just talking to him about it?
[Lyney notices that little slip of the tongue, but for Kaveh's sake chooses to politely overlook it. Instead, he brings a hand to his chin.]
Hmm... Have you thought of perhaps writing things down? If only to get your thoughts in order, and then maybe that could be a way for you to figure out how to tell him how you truly feel?
[That at least sounds promising, hearing his idea being considered.]
I've heard somewhere that sometimes, it's easier to write down our feelings in order to understand them better. That way, you can practice seeing how they would sound before you talk to him. Then, when you have your thoughts in order, you can tell him how you truly feel.
I feel that if they truly come from the heart, even a man like Alhaitham will understand. Just speak honestly, and plainly, and let him know of your true intentions. It should speak to him, shouldn't it?
...I just wish he could believe that I've never once truly regretted meeting him.
[He laughs, but it's a wet, sad sounding thing.] I only ever said it because I wanted him to hurt as much as I did. But it was already too late to take it back...
[Oh, Kaveh... you're going to make Lyney's heart break, sounding like that.]
We usually say things we regret out of anger, even if we don't mean them. Especially if we don't mean them.
[He pauses for a moment to think.]
Well... if you think words won't be enough... why not actions? "Father" often says that words don't mean as much if we don't back them up with action, so perhaps you could show him how much he means to you?
[It's good that they're talking over voice, because Lyney freezes momentarily when he realizes he let slip about "Father" to someone who doesn't know his backstory. But he's able to easily move on from that unspoken detail and focus more on the advice.]
That's the spirit! After all, flowers can't bloom if you don't plant the seeds first, right? I think rekindling your friendship is a good first step, my friend.
Hmm, perhaps you're right. But alas, I'm something of a romantic at heart when all's said and done. Is it so wrong for me to want to see two hearts receive the happily ever after they so dearly deserve?
[Some of the words are a bit dramatic, but there's truth to them.]
And besides, we're friends now, aren't we? It would be heartless of me not to help out a friend who's facing troubles.
I'd hate to be such a downer, though...most of my troubles aren't easily solved with kind words, and it can feel pretty bad, to not be able to help, can't it?
[He is pointedly not commenting on that happily ever after right now.]
[Oh Kaveh, what a kind soul. Lyney had once suspected Kaveh's kindness to be an act, but the more he interacts with the man the more he realizes how genuine it is.]
While that may be true that not all problems can be solved with kind words, it's easier to share the burden with another, isn't it? It would honestly be worse if I knew you were struggling but chose not to do anything to help. Even if I can't offer the solution to all your problems, I can at least offer you an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on if you need.
[Besides, it's easier to help others than it is to help yourself. Lyney would know, not that he would ever admit it out loud to just anyone.]
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[Lyney hesitates on his reply, processing those few words. He ponders on if he should ask, but decides to bite the bullet.]
Mr. Kaveh, if you'd forgive me for being so bold... are things alright with you and Mr. Alhaitham? I can see how close you two are, but I can't help but notice a tension there. Normally I wouldn't be one to pry, but... well, I can't help but be concerned when a friend is troubled by something.
[Even if his own definitions of "friend" can be skewed due to his affiliations, he does mean what he says.]
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You're very perceptive, aren't you? [callin' you out.] We are...it's complicated. It's more accurate to say, we used to be as close as you say, but...
[He sighs.] Well, we're not exactly those people anymore.
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[Lyney says it lightly, but it's a weighty little detail, something that Alhaitham has no doubt already picked up on. Lyney's instincts were as sharp as a cat's, honed by years of survival need and House of the Hearth training. Of course he'd notice something as simple as a strained relationship.]
[Still, hearing those words does make Lyney pause, blinking a few times on his end.]
Did something happen to change all that?
[He's probably pointing out the obvious, but he'd rather hear how Kaveh explains it than make assumptions.]
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...but what's the point of hiding it now, either? So he just makes sure he won't be overheard and sighs.]
...He told me my altruism was nothing but guilt over the way my father died. And I told him I regretted ever speaking to him.
We didn't speak for years, after that.
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I'm... so sorry to hear that. It must have been a truly big fight to have affected you both so badly.
[A part of him actually feels bad for his prior open flirting now.]
And you haven't been able to come to an understanding after that?
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Before that fight, I would have said I knew him better than I knew myself. Our views are opposites, but once, that created a harmony, instead of endless discord. We were...arrogant, I suppose. Young, and proud. We never spoke our feelings aloud because we always assumed the other would understand.
[He trails off into a sad little laugh.] Now, we're living with ghosts. We're not the same people we were, but...the boy I knew is still there. I just don't know how to read the man he became. I always thought he must have resented me as much as I did him, or maybe just moved on entirely, but...
[Kaveh is quiet a long while.] I don't know. I can't make much sense of all that's happened since that day.
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Have you tried apologizing to each other? Or even just talking to him about it?
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[...]
I can never seem to talk about the things I regret sober. I'm not sure he believes me, when I'm drunk.
[what happened to not remembering, Kaveh?]
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Hmm... Have you thought of perhaps writing things down? If only to get your thoughts in order, and then maybe that could be a way for you to figure out how to tell him how you truly feel?
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[It sounds like a terrible idea, honestly, he lives with a man who reads everything, but maybe...]
I suppose I could.
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I've heard somewhere that sometimes, it's easier to write down our feelings in order to understand them better. That way, you can practice seeing how they would sound before you talk to him. Then, when you have your thoughts in order, you can tell him how you truly feel.
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[His voice sounds very small, because. Well. That's the kind of thing that hurts to say.]
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The words you want to say to him... will they come from the heart?
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["bold and radiant". Kaveh would laugh to hear himself described that way.]
But I haven't given him much reason to believe them.
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[At least, he's hoping.]
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[The hangover is adding bonuses to his depression, Lyney, we're sorry.]
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[He laughs, but it's a wet, sad sounding thing.] I only ever said it because I wanted him to hurt as much as I did. But it was already too late to take it back...
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We usually say things we regret out of anger, even if we don't mean them. Especially if we don't mean them.
[He pauses for a moment to think.]
Well... if you think words won't be enough... why not actions? "Father" often says that words don't mean as much if we don't back them up with action, so perhaps you could show him how much he means to you?
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[oh, that makes his chest ache. But the advice itself...]
...I suppose I could. I've been...difficult, that's not a bad place to start.
[he's quiet for a while, thinking.] Even if...even if he won't love me again, at least...it'd be nice if we could be friends again.
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That's the spirit! After all, flowers can't bloom if you don't plant the seeds first, right? I think rekindling your friendship is a good first step, my friend.
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You know, you don't have to be quite so invested in this. I'm sure...that our troubles must be tiresome for others to hear about.
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[Some of the words are a bit dramatic, but there's truth to them.]
And besides, we're friends now, aren't we? It would be heartless of me not to help out a friend who's facing troubles.
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[He is pointedly not commenting on that happily ever after right now.]
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While that may be true that not all problems can be solved with kind words, it's easier to share the burden with another, isn't it? It would honestly be worse if I knew you were struggling but chose not to do anything to help. Even if I can't offer the solution to all your problems, I can at least offer you an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on if you need.
[Besides, it's easier to help others than it is to help yourself. Lyney would know, not that he would ever admit it out loud to just anyone.]
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